Dear Diary,
Do all people have those massive dreams that scare the hell out of them or is it just me??
Some days I feel like my head is going to explode just by thinking about this stuff and then I feel like isolating myself from everyone and everything and take off somewhere and take a break from this freakishly competitive world. It's probably not the dream that shakes the ground under my feet but the fear of failing, the fear of the unknown. There is a sea out there, where I am thinking of taking my tiny lil boat, what if the boat is unable to handle the tides, what if it doesn't reach the shore or worse what if I don't have it in me to take it in the water. I have never been so unsure in my entire life as I am now with so many images popping up in my head, why couldn't things be simpler like when we were kids, when the only thing we had to worry about was the homework to be submitted the next day. We don't realize we have grown up until it's time to step in the real world, the world where you need to be fast to survive, the world where you lose the race if you pause for a moment or at least that's what has been taught to us. However, I ponder over this sometimes, what if we don't want to go at the pace of this stereotypical world but set our own pace. You see the ladder which you need to climb to reach up to your dream but it's gonna take a lil more time, how is it so wrong to take off a bit of your own time to do what you wish to ??
There was a time when I used to get lost in my own thoughts, lil did I know that there would come a time when these thoughts would refuse to stay at bay. This is the reason that I obsess over the word Pandemonium, I just wish it would be more beautiful.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope that all the stuff that I dream about like going off on a tour of the European continent and owning my own tiny apartments in a lot many cities so I can take off whenever I feel like and owning a turquoise blue vintage car even though I know I am never gonna learn driving and making my dad so proud that he would boast about having me as a daughter, well, he still does that sometimes but I wish for it anyway... I don't dream of a picture perfect life, perfect is way too overrated, perfect is monotonous, I just want a life that is a result of my choices, it doesn't matter whether they are good or bad as long as they are mine...
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Putting the diary in her lap, she looked up at the sky, admiring the view of the setting sun from her patio. She couldn't help but feel a lil silly at the thoughts of her 20-year-old self. Life had taught her a lot many things, some came to her the easier way and for some she had to give up her sleep, however, the most important thing that she had learnt was that time and life both had a pretty funny way of working which was beyond our understanding. She was living a life she had always dreamt of, in her pretty lil apartment with the vintage car parked in her garage and the fact that she could drive it was the icing on the cake..It was getting dark so she figured it was best to get inside, she switched on the lights after stepping into the apartment, the walls of which had quotes written all over them, her favorite one being, "Ten years from now make sure you can say that you chose your life, you didn't settle for it" and the reason for it being her favorite was standing right in front of her eyes..
She had chosen her life when she could have easily settled...
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